Is codependency a form of anxiety? (2023)

Is codependency a form of anxiety?

Codependency and anxiety go hand in hand. Codependents tend to worry and take on other people's feelings and problems. This creates high levels of stress and anxiety that I refer to as “anxious codependency”.

Separation anxiety can be a symptom of DPD, along with difficulties with decision-making and autonomy. Likewise, separation anxiety can be a symptom of codependency behaviors, but a person who's codependent holds their self-worth in feeling needed by another person.

In codependent relationships, givers have anxious attachment styles—they define themselves by their relationship, and will do whatever it takes to stay in it, according to Daniels. Takers, she says, tend to have avoidant attachment styles, meaning they try to avoid emotional connection at all costs.

Codependency is neither an officially recognized personality disorder nor an official mental illness. Rather, it is a unique psychological construct that shares significant overlap with other personality disorders.

Codependency is essentially a maladaptive coping skill that typically develops in childhood. As children raised in unhealthy relationships, this coping skill is functional in the sense that it keeps us safe from being smothered, shamed, or otherwise crushed by unhealthy parents.

Childhood trauma is often a root cause of codependency. They don't always result, but for many people codependent relationships are a response to unaddressed past traumas. One reason may be that childhood trauma is usually family-centered: abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or even just divorce and fighting.

Mental health experts borrowed criteria of codependent behavior from dependent personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and histrionic personality disorder. Even without a clear diagnosis, giving up on someone with mental illness should be avoided.

If you notice patterns of codependency in your relationships, therapy can be very helpful. Therapy allows you to understand what your needs are and what you want. Therapy allows you to counter critical internal messages and develop a healthy internal voice. This may take some time.

Loneliness and Shame

It is at the same time the source of guilt and anxiety.” (Fromm, E., The Art of Loving, p. 9) As adults, codependents can get caught in a self-defeating cycle of loneliness, shame, and depression. Repeated break-ups and abandoning relationships can foster a worsening cycle of abandonment.

A person who is codependent will plan their entire life around pleasing the other person, or the enabler. In its simplest terms, a codependent relationship is when one partner needs the other partner, who in turn, needs to be needed.

What is the best therapy for codependency?

Commonly, therapists rely on combination therapy in order to treat codependency. Some recommend prescription medication to treat any underlying mental health issues as well as to relieve depression, stress, and anxiety. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is effective as well as other person-centered types of therapy.

Codependency is usually rooted in adverse childhood experiences. For example, children may take on inappropriate emotional/household responsibilities in order to survive a traumatic upbringing, which causes the child to neglect their needs for the sake of someone else's (codependency).

People who are in codependent relationships often have low self-esteem. In order to stop being codependent, you need to start by valuing yourself. Learn more about the things that make you happy and the kind of life that you want to live. Spend time doing the things that you love to do.

Codependency is usually rooted in childhood. Often, a child grows up in a home where their emotions are ignored or punished. This emotional neglect can give the child low self-esteem and shame. They may believe their needs are not worth attending to.

Medications are not generally used to treat codependency unless a person is being treated for another mental health condition as well. The treatment for codependence involves the person taking steps to work through their behaviors and feelings in a way that is safe and productive.

Codependency is defined as behavior in a relationship that is extreme and one-sided with the goal of helping or pleasing the other person in the relationship. An individual with codependency needs to be needed and will go to great lengths to sacrifice their own needs and wants in favor of the other person's.

Codependent people tend to focus so heavily on one person that they don't have time to spend with other people who are important to them. A person who's codependent will likely feel like their personality depends on the other person. You may not feel like you know what you really like or who you really are.

Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They find it hard to “be themselves.” Some try to feel better through alcohol, drugs or nicotine - and become addicted.

This is where the codependent core issue of low self-esteem comes in. With a fragile self, codependents are afraid of rejection and abandonment, but on the flip side, they fear losing themselves when they get attached in a relationship.

How do I stop feeling codependent?

Healing codependency involves: 1) Untangling yourself from other people, 2) Owning your part, 3) Getting to know yourself, and 4) Loving yourself.

If you've been stuck in codependent thoughts and behaviors for a while, you understand that recovery is a long-term process requiring mindful self-care and self-love. Recovery from codependency isn't all or nothing. It will take some time as well as trial and error.

The codependent is a double-victim. They face the toxicity of their partner's behavior. This is compounded by their own self-sabotaging reactions and inability to leave environments that further deepen their insecurities.