Why are people afraid to talk about salary? (2023)

Why are people afraid to talk about salary?

“Because of a lack of agreed upon financial metrics, people feel fear or shame around what their finances look like.” All of these forces — the social taboo, the intimidation factor, embarrassment — conspire to keep us from talking about money and improving our circumstances.

Discussing Salary

It's rude to ask how much money someone else makes, and it's also rude to share how much money you make (unless there is good reason to do so, i.e. someone is looking for a job in your field and wants to know a typical salary range). "This can make people feel uncomfortable," Porter said.

People are reluctant to disclose their income just because its one more criteria for others to judge you. In private jobs, people with same education and same years of experience make different earnings. This is because of different skill levels, hard work and other factors. But many people fail to accept this reality.

Say that you'd rather not disclose your current salary, as you would like to have a fair negotiation based on your skills and what you have to offer the company. You can be firm and say that your salary is personal and confidential information.

Seasoned job-seekers know that money and compensation come up at the end of an interview process when a job offer is being made. Asking about money before you even know if you're right for the position can make you look inexperienced, or worse, unprofessional.

Many career-builders turn squeamish when it comes to asking for a raise. The reasons include fear of rejection and discomfort about broaching the subject diplomatically. Often, it's hard pinpointing the exact reason.

You can almost never go wrong by negotiating salary. Many people are concerned that by asking for more money, they might lose the job offer — but that's almost never the case. After all, most job offers don't disclose the salary range upfront, so recruiters expect that you'll have to talk about it at some point.

There are potential benefits to openly discussing salary in the workplace, as these conversations can let you know if you're being grossly underpaid, and, in turn, help you negotiate a higher wage.

Asking about salary right at the start of an interview might be off-putting. However, it is okay to ask the question at the end of the first interview, especially when the interviewer asks if you have any questions for them.

The confidential nature of your salary, in fact, can be a greater benefit to you. "It creates an opportunity for a manager to have a confidential discussion with employees as to why they are being paid what they are -- and how they can work toward making more money," he says.

Why you should not share your salary?

"Never a good idea"

"There is no upside." One concern is that such informal conversations can result in people knowing less, not more, about a company's presiding wage scales. "Your colleague could be lying to you and gaming you to see what you're making," he said.

Set up a meeting to discuss your pay.

Remind them of your recent wins, and then say, "I've done some research, and it appears I'm underpaid by x percent." Then stop talking. "We always want to fill the awkward moment, but just wait," she says. This will make it clear that the next step is your boss's to take.

Consider giving a salary range, not a number

If a job post asks applicants to state their expected salary when applying for the position, then give a range — not a specific figure — you're comfortable with. Answers like “Negotiable” might work, but they can also make you look evasive.

The main reason is that your employer does not want you or your co-workers to compare salaries so that if one is underpaid, they ask for a raise with obvious evidence. If there is a salary imbalance, it can lead to mistrust: between you and your co-workers, and you and your employer.

While the venture may give you sweats and anxiety-inducing nightmares, it's a necessity. You deserve to feel valued in your position, and if asking for this will make you feel that way, then don't let your anxiety stop you from getting something you want.

Some employees decline a pay increase because they believe it will come with additional responsibilities and expectations or make their position more vulnerable in the event of a layoff, Miller noted.

Whether your nerves stem from fear, low self-confidence, or a lack of knowledge surrounding your market value, asking for more from your employer is uncomfortable — even when the odds are in your favor.

Is it rude to ask to negotiate salary?

Oftentimes, we avoid salary negotiation from a mistaken sense of fear; fear of somehow upsetting your future manager, fear of having the job offer pulled, fear of having your counteroffer rejected. Negotiation isn't rude. It isn't going to lose you your job offer.

While it's not technically illegal to discuss your salary, this talk could damage your workplace environment and get you in trouble with your employer. There are a few situations where it might make sense to talk about your salary, but you should handle them delicately so they don't backfire on you.

Lying about your salary in order to achieve more money from a new employer can backfire. In certain sectors for example, such as law or finance, there are stringent background checks involved – which can include looking into a candidate's past employment in great detail. This could reveal things like your earnings.

"Yes, you can most certainly talk about your salary and what you make; however, my advice is to keep that info to people you know, love and trust," Swan adds. There are legit reasons to take the salary talk out of the shadows, especially in the workplace.

Conversations can evoke feelings of jealousy and inequity among co-workers who most likely are unaware of the reasons for salary differences, including education, experience and training. Suspicion, distrust and other negative emotions often result from salary discussions and seriously affect company morale.

The advantages of pay secrecy are better managerial control of organization's processes; less conflict; better options for differentiating good and bad workers; and less fluctuation and better position of management in individual salary negotiations with employees.

While I really appreciate the offer to work for such a great company, I, unfortunately, must decline at this time, as the salary isn't within my preferred range. I had a wonderful time speaking with you during the interview. I wish you luck in your search for a candidate. Thank you again for this opportunity.

“You need to convince them that the work you've done and are capable of doing warrants greater compensation because of its value and your value.” By swaying the conversation away from salary and toward your skills you can show you're a good fit for the company, and by the time they bring up salary again, they may be ...

You would be guessing at the value of their offer and this puts you at a disadvantage in negotiating and it leaves money on the table because you created a salary range without the complete details of the position.

It really depends. Some people feel you should take the first offer if you're happy with it. Never negotiate just for the sake of negotiating. Other people disagree with that position and believe anytime you're given the chance to negotiate, you should.

Should you ever accept a lower salary?

If you see opportunities to move into a bigger and better role after the one you are about to accept, then it may be worth taking a temporary dip in salary. Another good reason for accepting a job which has a lower salary than your current one is the opportunity to gain some knowledge and skills.

"Yes, you can most certainly talk about your salary and what you make; however, my advice is to keep that info to people you know, love and trust," Swan adds. There are legit reasons to take the salary talk out of the shadows, especially in the workplace.

In fact, employees' right to discuss their salary is protected by law. While employers may restrict workers from discussing their salary in front of customers or during work, they cannot prohibit employees from talking about pay on their own time.

So employees joining a particular job can have different starting salaries based on what they earned in the previous job and how they negotiated when they joined the company. The biggest reason for maintaining salaries confidential is to mask the pay differences between those performing the same job.

There are potential benefits to openly discussing salary in the workplace, as these conversations can let you know if you're being grossly underpaid, and, in turn, help you negotiate a higher wage.